Andy and I decided to sign up for this "Love & Logic" parenting class at church. It's actually got some great information to offer. Yesterday we learned about the "uh oh" song....which made me laugh because it's really not a song at all...just a method for a time out sort of consequence. You're just supposed to use this goofy sing song voice so you don't say what you really want to say to them.
Basically, they're saying not to give any warnings or count to three, etc. when your child is misbehaving, but scoop them up while saying, "Uh oh....time for a little _____ time". This can be bedroom time, pack n' play time....any place where they are contained and away from you. If they throw a fit, you're supposed to let them do it, have time to calm down, then go get them, give them a hug, etc...
Well Addison has been pushing my limits lately, so I pictured in my head all of the great ways I was going to start using this. The class was saying you can basically start doing it at 7 months old, so the way I saw it....I was already behind. =) My child thinks the word "no" is hilarious and an invitation to continue doing whatever she was doing to cause me to say it.
So I'm trying to figure out where this "uh oh" time is going to take place... I don't like the pack and play because I don't want that to be seen as punishment seeing how we still need it to serve it's purpose of a travel bed for her. She's too young to just put in her room....so I'm thinking of just using the high chair and turning it away from me so she doesn't get the attention.
This works great in theory until she just starts acting up so many places that are just way too far away from the high chair and I"m too exhausted to do anything about it.
Like today, we spent an hour in HEB doing grocery shopping and she is letting me have it while standing in the check out line...trying to throw food out of the cart, etc. I know I've heard people say, just leave the cart and take them to the car....but those people have got to be crazy because there is no way I'm going to go through that hour and a half of grocery shopping all over again!
Then she's eating lunch in the highchair and proceeds to start throwing her cup, spoon, food overboard. I just ignored her and took it as a cue that lunch (which hadn't even started) was already over.
I was cleaning up in the kitchen from said lunch, and I look up...she is halfway up the stairs (having moved the baby gate herself) just smiling at me because she knows she is not supposed to be up there. So this time I had had it and just scooped her up saying, "oh, you must want to go take a nap" and put her in her crib. She was none too happy.
So rather than go on and continue to add to my "bad parent portfolio", I will just stop here and ask if anyone has anything else that's worked as a consequence for a 16 month old. I need to figure something out before December comes and little man is here....having a little bit of a momma freak out today.
I will leave you....if you are still reading.... with a picture showing her sweeter side....she's getting so big!! She loves to climb into any kind of chair...table, etc....just usually can't figure out how to get down.
4 comments:
I was laughing out loud at your post. Don't we all wish all those little tricks they tell us to use would work so easily?!?! I have learned that after three kids they are all different and they all just go through phases. She is going through a phase and it will pass. And probably before december. Don't stress out. You and she will do great when Mr. Man gets here. Her and Hadley sound like the same little child. I usually just say no and pull her away from the situation. She gets mad and will usually go back to what she isn't supposed to do. If I have to keep taking her out of the situation, she gets a little swat. I'm sure there will be people on here gasping at that. But I've done it will all three kiddos and I think they have turned out alright. Whatever you decide to do just be consistant and she will learn right from wrong. And I think putting her in her crib for a time out is perfectly acceptable. Good luck!!
You are NOT a bad parent, and everything she's doing is completely normal. I heard once that it takes a toddler 100 repetitions to finally "get it." And I can attest to that. Rose threw things off her high chair daily for what seemed like months. Just stay consistent with whatever you choose, and she, too, will "get it." And, i agree that timeout in her bed is not a bad idea. I used that for Thomas. He knew the difference because at nap time he had his blanket and the door was closed. Timeout was door open, and no blanket. I would go in after one minute and (even at that age) make him nod or answer yes to "are you ready to obey mommy now?" Hang in there. "Mama said there'd be days like this..."
Two words..."Sad Sally"!! :)
There is no way that sweet little one in the rocker could ever do anything bad!!!!:):) I did laugh at your post - you are not alone. You are such a good mommy - and think your instincts are probably perfect. I will say that I took that exact same course and lets just say that I count to three. She has gotten to the point where I usually have to say 1 and she stops unless she just decides that whatever she was going to do was so totally worth it to keep going...haha! Good luck:)
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