*** Warning*** Extremely honest post
It's that time of year again....I almost started out with the typical, "I can't believe it's already been a year", but let's be honest.... I can. So much has happened this year, that New Year's last year seems so very long ago.
I can't believe that this time last year:
* I had a newborn
* Addison was barely talking, which had me worried
* we were just getting settled into our new house
* had no plans to move from said house
* wondered if we would be in Houston for the rest of our lives.
* weighed the same I do now (except keep in mind I had just given birth to that newborn)
On the eve of 2011...
* I have 2 rambunctious toddlers
* Addison cracks me up and drives me crazy at the same time with everything that comes out of her mouth
* I am sitting in a different "new" house and missing .... everything back home.
* wondering what the future holds for us (doesn't everybody)
* still weigh what I did last year, but have no excuse of baby weight.
Knowing that, here are my resolutions for 2011. I'm writing them here so that I have accountability...not just with everyone who reads this, but so that when this blog post winds up in our 2010 book I have the words staring me up in the face.
To Lose 20 pounds
I know losing weight is a typical resolution, but I tend to work well with a fresh start. I discovered this year that I am a stress eater. Let me rephrase that. I didn't discover this. I've known this. I just
stressed ate way too much this year. I remember being on the phone with one of our realtors back in October, near tears and shoveling M&Ms into my mouth at the same time.
I have been successful at this resolution once before when I moved home after college. Not wanting to be stuck at home with the folks, missing my friends from school, and hating my new job, I threw myself into dieting and working out. I was crazy and it worked.
I'm wanting that same thing this time....except we have no gym and I have two kids. The odds are against me. =) But.... I am missing my friends like crazy, so I have one of those factors going for me.
In all seriousness, my type A mentality has kicked in and I've planned out meals, made grocery lists, dug out the old workout DVD's, and have lots of motivation. Like a whole closet of clothes that don't fit anymore. So I vow this year to put on work out clothes to actually work out and not just because they are the only thing that fits. Andy is going to help keep me accountable, and I want this for me. I'm going to be blogging about it a little bit too, so I will let you know how it goes....
To get Addison potty trained
When I first found out I was pregnant, I was numb with excitement. It was surreal. I was thrilled to think of holding that little one for the first time, and then panic set in. Not about taking care of a newborn, or all of the other, natural fears that come with that news, but....
OH. MY. GOODNESS. I am going to have to potty train this kid.
I have dreaded this day. And I say "this day" with much meaning because this day is today. We started it today. And. It sucks. I am doing the much followed, "Three Day Potty Training" method. She's had a few typical accidents, and actually gone IN the potty once ( I think also by accident), but I am counting down until bedtime right now.
I took a three hour nap today while she was napping and am still exhausted. Having to be right by her side every second of the day and CONSTANTLY saying, "Addison make sure you tell mommy when you need to use the potty" like 520 times already. "Is Tinkerbell dry?" I'm so glad that my new ways of eating don't start until Monday because the bottle of wine is about to be cracked and will probably be finished tonight. Except that I've got to drink just the right amount....enough to relax and enjoy New Year's Eve on the couch in the same pajamas I woke up in, but not too much so that I can wake up and do this ALL DAY AGAIN.
I'm hoping that this goal is achieved much quicker than my weight loss. Because remember, I am a stress eater.
Living in the Moment (A.K.A. Enjoying California)
When Andy first told me that he was being offered a transfer by Shell to one of my favorite places ever, I was scared and thrilled at the same time. Four months of working out the details, selling a buying houses, tying up lose ends provided plenty of distraction for what I would inevitably have to leave behind. I wasn't naive to it, I just didn't want to think about it and absorb it because it was too hard.
I'm not trying to sound dramatic, but it's the truth. I have lived within a 20 mile radius my whole life, minus college, which was still an easy car ride away. My dearest friends have been part of my life for years. When you think back on who your closest friends are, chances are they were made during monumental times in your life. (i.e. college, married life, having babies, etc.) Those are things that bond you for a lifetime and don't get replaced.
I have met wonderful people here in a short amount of time. They are people whom I really can see myself getting to know and building great friendships with, but that doesn't come easy or quickly. Thank goodness for things like facebook, text messaging, etc.....but I feel like I've even failed in that department. Our lives are so busy with little ones.
So my resolution is to 1. make it more of a priority to keep up with old friends. and 2. enjoy this time that we've been given here. Live more in the now and not four years from now.
This is so hard though when everything feels so foreign. I miss our church and even Addison's pre-school SOOO much more than I even expected to. Routine is comfortable, albeit, sometimes boring. But right now I miss boring.
I am thankful for this opportunity we have been given though. God has a plan and has blessed us so much already. I need to focus more on him, and be present in the moments that are happening now.
And ...the wine is cracked....and almost gone. Addison has now peed 3 times in the potty. And I am enjoying the last of the cakeballs before Monday brings the beginning of Operation Take Back My Closet.
Happy New Year!